An Interview With My Vagina

In Collaboration with @thevaginabible

In 2019 vaginas matter, and even more so do their opinions: In homage to V-Day and inspired by the Vagina Monologues founded by Eve Ensler, I interviewed my vagina who sometimes prefers to be called “Mumu”, “Pussy” or just “down there”.

Image Credit: Josephine Rais  @josephinerais

Image Credit: Josephine Rais @josephinerais

Why “Mumu"?

I think in German “Mumu" sounds naive, ridiculous and kind of ironic. That’s what I like about it. But it always depends on the situation.

Can you provide us with an example of what you mean?

When I have sex, I would find it pretty odd to be someone’s “Mumu”. "Pussy" or "Chatte" (in French) would be more appropriate here. Vulgar and a bit degrading which I personally like in the bedroom.

Names that make you feel uncomfortable?

“Cunt”. “Pussycat”. “Twat”. “Cooch". Shakespeare wrote about “Porridge” and “Pie”. There are so many and most probably 99% of them would make me feel weird.

Do you remember when someone called you a name you didn’t like?

My doctor once called me “Vulva” and then used the word “irritated” in the same sentence. That still gives me goosebumps. My mum is only allowed to call me “down there”, no excuses. That just made me think of this movie I can’t remember the title of – in one scene a father tries to talk to his daughter about sex. He doesn’t know how to name the vagina and ends up calling it "flower pot".

What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Going completely bold for a guy. He made me shave off ALL my hair. He would even send texts to remind me to shave.

Your secret vice?

Selfies.

What do you like to wear?

Less clothes. It’s pretty dark down here and I love being naked. There is nothing to be shy over.

Something that makes you really angry.

Catcalling. Sometimes I wish I had a taser to shy strangers away. Oh, and people who think I'm gross when I’m bleeding. F***k them ✌

Where would you like to be right now?

That’s a penis kind of question.

If you could say three words to a penis?

Give me more.

Do you have a secret you would like to share with us?

Somewhere deep, deep inside, I’ve got feelings too.

What can’t you live without?

My menstrual cup and masturbating.

What would you do for love?

Faking orgasms.

How often do you think about sex?

Throughout the entire interview.

Thank you and thanks for coming!

With pleasure, I didn’t fake this one.